January 30, 2013
Well, it’s been a couple of days since the last post. I was just going through the motions, as normally everyone goes through. I feel much better now. I’m just lucky to have met the people who I know today and that they are there to help me out when things get tough. I haven’t given up on being nice to begin with. And so the story goes…
I must have mixed up being mean and having a backbone as the same thing when I was young. I always had the idea that in order to get what you want, you had to convey yourself in a way that I felt as mean or angry. I saw that to have dominance over others, you must use intimidation. I thought all of these negative emotions were necessary to get what you wanted. Obviously I was wrong!
Rarely I use anger or intimidation because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. It ain’t fun to say the least. I don’t understand how a person could do such a thing, but then again, we can’t judge since we don’t know their past.
Where am I going with this? Well, my mother explained to me when I was about to get angry and explode was:
There’s always a better way of saying things.
I believe that to be genuinely true. I agree, it may be easier to get upset and blow off your head in order for people to hear you or to do things for you but it only works for the short-term in my opinion. It doesn’t build relationships, more like breaks them or puts your relationship in a negative light with others. There is always a better, nicer way of saying it. Instead of taking the easy route, I like to take the challenge.
Now the key to this I find is when you’re in the heat of the moment, you need to take a step back and try to find a way to become calm again so that you can look at the moment with unclouded judgment. If you may be fighting with someone, just walk away and say you’ll be back. Don’t run away though because that doesn’t solve anything, as much as you have the feeling to. It also gives the other party to take a time out as well, which benefits both you and the other person. Easier said than done, I know. Only with practice is all I recommend. I’m not saying you submit or make the other submit to either one’s solution, but there is always a middle ground or compromise.
If you’re genuine to every word you say, you can’t go wrong