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February 23, 2013

Well it has been awhile since I’ve last posted. I know, and I am sorry. But don’t cry, I am back! For the most part I’ve been busy with school and life in general. But things are working out. I finally have a break to catch up with some of my friends and school work. And of course my blog! And so the story goes

For the most part this February I’ve been busy with school. Lots of reading to be done as well as studying and midterms coming up. Boring. I know!

Here’s where it gets a little interesting, in my opinion. Well, I’ve never really had success in relationships but then again I never pursued them. I made it my goal this year to strengthen my relationships with my friends and as well try to get to know  more women. I’ve finally felt that I am ready and responsible to be in a relationship and that it is time I start spreading my wings for the first time. As well, I’ve made it my goal to try to go out more often than usual and practice being more social. It’s not a strong point of mine I have to admit, but I’m optimistic it’ll all work out. Anyway, so my college was holding a speed dating event on Valentine’s Day. I knew that I wouldn’t have anybody that day, lucky me, so I decided to try my luck there even though I really didn’t mind coming up empty. It was something out of the blue for me and last minute so I wasn’t expecting much. I also saw it as a place to practice and gain some social skills, so at least I would learn something from it.

Anyway, so I get to the event. There was a lot of people. I was kinda nervous at first, but that subsided after awhile also due to the fact I had a little drink before it all started. So I went from table to table talking to each lady about their interests, learning something about them. Unfortunately the music was blasting so loud that it was hard to understand what they were saying so we literally had to yell at each other. Some of the girls were interesting. Unfortunately, some of the girls weren’t. This one girl was totally uninterested in me and was not at all nice. She didn’t even ask one single question! I was trying to ask her questions and not try to make things to hard, but she didn’t even say much. Didn’t even give me a chance. Oh well, I tried to be the better person I guess. Aside from that, there were two girls that were nice unfortunately they didn’t seem interested. Another day!

What I learned is that speed dating, even though it was my first time, is not really my thing, that is not yet. I learned that you should always have a bunch of questions set up to ask each girl so that you won’t be struggling to have a conversation with them. Also, within the time limit of two minutes it is hard know if that person is interesting enough.

I’m happy I did it and hope to do it again some time soon.

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January 30, 2013

Well, it’s been a couple of days since the last post. I was just going through the motions, as normally everyone goes through. I feel much better now. I’m just lucky to have met the people who I know today and that they are there to help me out when things get tough. I haven’t given up on being nice to begin with. And so the story goes…

I must have mixed up being mean and having a backbone as the same thing when I was young. I always had the idea that in order to get what you want, you had to convey yourself in a way that I felt as mean or angry. I saw that to have dominance over others, you must use intimidation. I thought all of these negative emotions were necessary to get what you wanted. Obviously I was wrong!

Rarely I use anger or intimidation because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. It ain’t fun to say the least. I don’t understand how a person could do such a thing, but then again, we can’t judge since we don’t know their past.

Where am I going with this? Well, my mother explained to me when I was about to get angry and explode was:

There’s always a better way of saying things.

I believe that to be genuinely true. I agree, it may be easier to get upset and blow off your head in order for people to hear you or to do things for you but it only works for the short-term in my opinion. It doesn’t build relationships, more like breaks them or puts your relationship in a negative light with others. There is always a better, nicer way of saying it. Instead of taking the easy route, I like to take the challenge.

Now the key to this I find is when you’re in the heat of the moment, you need to take a step back and try to find a way to become calm again so that you can look at the moment with unclouded judgment. If you may be fighting with someone, just walk away and say you’ll be back. Don’t run away though because that doesn’t solve anything, as much as you have the feeling to. It also gives the other party to take a time out as well, which benefits both you and the other person. Easier said than done, I know. Only with practice is all I recommend. I’m not saying you submit or make the other submit to either one’s solution, but there is always a middle ground or compromise.

If you’re genuine to every word you say, you can’t go wrong

January 27, 2013

So I decided to create a blog where I can express myself in a way that I understood. Writing. Talking is a more difficult task for me. With writing I can say things I normally wouldn’t say up front. And so the story goes…

I’ve been upset for the past couple of days. Something in my life happened a week ago and it has been preoccupying my thoughts. It’s nothing ridiculous though, in my opinion anyway, but has made me realize that being nice doesn’t get you anywhere in this world. I am starting to come to the realization of that. I’ve been a nice person my whole life. I’ve been taught, indoctrinated, and molded to be a nice person. Just twiddle your thumbs, sit up straight, hands in your lap and everything will be okay! But everything is not okay. I feel like I have no sense of accomplishment and that every coming day is another failure waiting to happen. But just be nice to all your friends and peers and all the people you look up to, they say.

When I look at all the times I’ve been “bad”, bad being something they wouldn’t want to see in me, I’ve felt a sense of accomplishment. Pride. Confidence in myself. For once I didn’t feel so brought down. For once I got what I wanted. For once I wasn’t at the end. For once it felt right.

Why does society have this conception of be nice and the world will fall in your lap. Everyday people are doing “bad” things. People are using each other for their own ends. For their own happiness. For their own gain. This is utter bulls**t! Those same people that are peddling this advice I bet don’t even follow it. The truth is, I think we are all wolves in sheeps clothing and all the sheep  that are left are the ones that get it the worst. They are taught to see but the wool has been pulled over their eyes. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Keep calm and carry on… the weight of those above you

I don’t want to be that sheep anymore. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of all and not getting anything in return. I have had enough of it! If all of society did sacrifice themselves for the greater good, I wouldn’t mind, but we run on the basis of climb to the top and don’t look down. Feed your wants and needs, nothing else matters.

Money earned by you and spent on yourself is in the greatest of hands but money earned by others and spent on others is in the of worst hands.

But maybe I’m wrong…

ardenology

Unfit for Human Consumption.